Yes, I've played Clash of Clans. I have played this mobile game for roughly 521 days. Not everyday of those 521 days, but fairly consistently and for a couple of minutes each day. That's actually a lot longer than I realized, although it's less than a year and-a-half, so that actually makes me feel a little better. But I am here today to talk about those 521 days of playing this simple freemium cellphone game.
I was first encouraged to start playing this game from Conklederp's oldest youngest brother, we'll call him Guy#1. So I decided to join up and give this game a try. This was on Friday April 18, 2014. I guess that is all the background that is required.
In its simplest form, Clash of Clans is a form of MMO tower defense game. It's a simplified Warcraft: Orcs & Humans in one location meets the asshats of the internet. The game is quite addicting, but not so addicting that I put real world money into the game.
Plus, the game does look pretty good.
Either zoomed in all the way (as above), or zoomed out to see the entirety of your village (below), all the lines are crisp and the color are bold. The only way I could imagine this game to be better visually, is if there was a way of rotating the camera around the village to see it from any angle. But, that would probably require more programming that the developers would not want to have to deal with.
So what made me play Clash of Clans for 521 days (have I mentioned the number of days yet?) and what made me stop? The answer to those questions are the same. A few months in, I realized that the fighting goblins in the single player campaign, which consists of sending troops up against a goblin clan who have their own village and defenses (using the same defenses as all the other players) and looting their resources which become your own. The thing though with the goblins, is that you are able to attack the same village as often as you want, but their resources (gold and elixir) only exist the one time you actually take them. Once they're looted from that one particular village, they never replenish. As you progress through the goblin villages, they become more and more difficult, requiring the player to further upgrade their troops by using gold and/or elixir. I had decided that I would only play long enough to finish the goblin campaign seeing as I had no real interest in making it to the top of the online leader boards.
So on Thursday September 10th, I managed to earn the coveted three stars on the final goblin mission by destroying 100% of the goblin's village.
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| Visual proof that I done did it. |
For those of y'all who want to know, the troops I sent in were as follows with the maximum number of troops (each troop member has a point value) I could take into battle being 200:
- 20 Level 5 Barbarians (20 pts.)
- 19 Level 5 Archers (19 pts.)
- 6 Level 5 Wall Breakers (12 pts.)
- 1 Level 5 Healer (14 pts.)
- 3 Level 3 Dragons (60 pts.)
- 3 Level 3 P.E.K.K.As (75 pts.)
- 1 Level 10 Barbarian King
- 3 Level 5 Rage Spells
I had previously tried attacking the final goblin stage a number of times and had even managed to take all of their resources, but the remainder of my troops were killed trying to destroy the last of the defences. I do not actually recall my specific strategy when I beat the goblins for the final time. I think I used the rage spell on a pair of P.E.K.K.As and some wall breakers and again when the P.E.K.K.As were around a clump of defensive buidings. As per usual, I used the Barbarian King's heal/rage after he took some damage and I think I used my last rage spell on him and his summoned barbarians after his heal/rage ability wore off.
So, now that there is nothing left to do in the game but spend months upgrading everything so that I can keep higher level players away from my resources. Before completing the goblin campaign, I was upgrading my walls (as in each large pointy section of the walls are considered 1 Wall), which costs 500,000 gold to upgrade a single section of the wall (between Level 7-8 is 500,000 gold; from Level 8-9 it's 1,000,000 gold or elixir per section of wall). Mining gold at 21,000 an hour means that it takes at least 23 hours and 49 minutes to mine enough gold to upgrade just one of the walls. I have 193 walls to upgrade which means it would take an additional 96,500,500 gold or 191.5 days to mine enough gold (that is if noone raids my village and takes a certain percentage of my gold in the process). Ain't nobody got time for that, so I'm going to be calling it quits. That type of game is not really me and in the end, I feel good about everything seeing as how I completed the single player goblin campaign.
Now, as I say goodbye to this game, I leave you with my village
Now onto my next mobile game, which may have just been introduced to me by Dellaños just today. We'll have to wait and see though. Now I just have to uninstall Clash of Clans. . .
~JWfW/JDub/Jaconian
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