The Birth and History of Cooking Crack

Over the last month or so, you may have noticed the addition of "Cooking Crack" to my list of names/aliases/handles down there at the bottom of the articles I've written as well as on Twitter.  This is all thanks to Brian David Gilbert's video on coming up with your own personalized Hideo Kojima name.  I should preface the remainder of the article by saying that I have only played a handful of Kojima games. . .wait, no.  I have not played any of the games that he has produced, directed, wrote, or designed.  But I have played Castlevania: Lords of Shadow, which was co-developed by Kojima Productions and Mercury Steam.  I know who he is though, so maybe that counts?  The point is, is that apparently, Hideo Kojima uses some odd names for his characters.  I knew this only because I tangentially got Solid Snake, Liquid Snake, and Big Boss (aka Naked Snake, aka John "Jack") confused around the time that Phantom Pain was being announced.

Before I go any further, I highly recommend that you watch the video below because if you don't, then everything I am going to get into here will just sound bat-shit-crazy.

At this point, I am going to assume that you have watched the above video.

I have also included the link to download and complete your own copy of the Hideo Kojima Name Generator as well as a copy of my filled out the form so you can see my own filled out form (with one or two bits of information omitted for security reasons (thanks NSA).  And before we get down to any further explanations, I apologize for the quality of my handwriting as it looks like crap, I know that, and I blame it all on my ability to take notes quickly starting in Mr. Willoughby's World History class in 9th grade.

As far as the individual sections go, I realize I probably could eat more than eight full sized carrots in a single sitting, and I probably could have come up with something a little more embarrassing than face planting on a neighbor's driveway when I was five.  Maybe I'm a bad person for not having a particular favorite Kurt Russell role, but I do really like the film Backdraft and that soundtrack is up there with one of my all time favorites, as well as being the first CD that I ever owned.  I also have no idea who Joy Division are.  The "Scientific Term from NPR" bit in Section 3, and because I wasn't driving to work on a Friday, there was not a whole lot going on in Science the day I filled this out, hence someone saying that something was Bat Guano Crazy.  It's a bioscience term.  And never having played a game in the Metal Gear series, where the Section 13 Part 1 comes from, I feel like the explanation of my name that could be used during an introductory cutscene fell a little flat.

So, thanks to my description of Mads Mikkelson cooking in a kitchen a la Hannibal and that the first thing I could think of that sounded similar to my name being Crack, I have the self-imposed Kojima Name of Cooking Crack.  It's not the Cool Name that I kind of was hoping that I would end up with, something more along the lines of Revolver Ocelot or Laughing Octopus, but that just might be the kind of cool name that Hideo Kojima thinks is cool.

And who am I to argue with Hideo Kojima?



~JWfW/JDub/Cooking Crack/Jaconian
Look At Us, But Do Not Touch


P.S. What is your Hideo Kojima name?  You know you want to!!

P.P.S.  And for the sake of having a Horny Name because why-the-hell-not, it would have been Wright Lickable Liquid.  I'll leave you with that.